


let me

by nomorewideeyes



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Hurt Alec Lightwood, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Magnus is a good boyfriend, that’s what matters, they’re always there for each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-13
Updated: 2019-04-13
Packaged: 2020-01-12 22:24:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18455828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nomorewideeyes/pseuds/nomorewideeyes
Summary: (2x04 coda)Magnus wants to help Alec bandage his wounds.





	let me

**Author's Note:**

> Written based on a prompt sent by tumblr user @/amordelfriki : “..I feel like it would be pretty cool if someone wrote a continuation of that scene where Magnus actually slowly approaches him and insists that if Alec isn't gonna heal his hand then he can at least bandage it up for him :)”

“You’ll blow up the very ground you stand on to make something right.”   
  
Magnus’ words hung in the autumn air, the night quickly taking it’s grasp on the city below. Time was at a standstill. He could still see the tension that gripped Alec’s frame, the loss and pain and fear in his eyes an overwhelming sea threatening to pull both of them under. Hell, he could feel it, radiating off him in waves despite Alec’s attempts to reign them in with feigned nonchalance. He’s simply sitting against the ladder, leaning his head against the railing. Magnus knows that inside his mind not everything is quite as calm. 

 

This thing between them was still new; raw and fresh, yes, but also fuelled by such an uncontrollable fire that sparked the minute their eyes met. They were still learning to be with each other, each still clinging on to the remnants of those walls they had been building up for so long, the walls that were now slowly starting to crack. Amongst the wars raging around New York and beneath the surface, it was hard to be granted a moments rest to stop, consider, feel. Events like these, when the negatives held this amount of weight, loomed darkly overhead, having the potential to make them eye the glowing ‘EXIT’ sign even when their story had barely begun to unfold. And because of that, Magnus understood Alec’s resistance, felt his own brand of it running deep.   
  
But he also knew that if they wanted this, wanted them, they would have to learn how to offer support in a language the other could understand, would have to turn away from such an easy way out. Hesitantly, Magnus started to move closer, testing the waters, almost scared of spooking Alec but not scared enough to sit still. Alec simply watched, his hands slowing in their movements, growing peaceful.    
  
Magnus sighed, a newfound hope beginning to show it’s head. “If you insist on not using an iratze, may I at least help bandage them?”    
  
Alec’s gaze darted down to his hands; calloused and bruised and bleeding deep crimson, the result of a specific type of injury that left Magnus feeling rattled to his core, his head light. He also found himself wanting to care for them more than anything, a perhaps selfish need he could hear his father reprimand.    
  
“Why?” It was the first word Alec had spoken in what felt like an age, barely there as it drifted up and away on the breeze. His voice was still hoarse from the effort of constantly pushing down on the things he wouldn’t allow himself to feel, or at the very least acknowledge. “Why do you still want this- want me? After-“ he gestures vaguely, face contorting in frustration. The sentence dies on his tongue.   
  
Magnus stops in his path. He had yet to pay regards to that thought since this (whatever this would turn out to be) began. _Why_? Perhaps he would be more suited to ask that question himself. After a life of more love and loss and heartbreak than should be possible, after too many goodbyes and not enough consensus for something to truly last... how does Alec Lightwood, a Nephilim, a Shadowhunter persuaded from birth to dismiss those of demon blood, so effortlessly break through a hundred year old blockade that’s kept Magnus’ heart protected? One man with unruly hair and russet eyes and that sweet lopsided grin Magnus knows is a secret to be blessed with is all it takes to make his soul burn bright and true again.    
  
It’s terrifying in it’s confusing nature. Electric.   
  
He realises that he loves it.   
  
_ You’re casting light over shadows I couldn’t even see I was hiding behind and it’s destroying me in every best way,  _ Magnus thinks.  _ I’ve already almost lost you once. _

 

“I care about you. Isn’t that enough?” he settles for instead, the words honest and warm and true. After so long of living without something like this, someone like him, a new curiosity bloomed inside his chest, wanting and yearning becoming all the more clear in his mind.   
  
There’s an unguarded moment when Alec’s eyes flash, leg bouncing slightly where it leans against the cool metal of the fire escape ladder. After some consideration, he nods his head briefly, gradually lifting one hand at a time, fixed on the sight of them as they lay still in the air. Magnus recognises that for Alec, who is so used to living the life of a dutiful soldier afraid to ask for help in case someone discovers a little too much of the truth, this is an act of vulnerability. Magnus greatly appreciates being privy to it.   
  
Carefully, he closes the distance, stepping close enough that Alec’s knees bracket his own. It grows impossibly quiet. Magnus gently takes one of Alec’s hands in his own, trying not to disturb his injuries even more, and Alec’s eyes fall shut as he lets his head droop a little. With a snap of his fingers, the ring in the air sharp as anything, Magnus summons a roll of bandage cloth and shifts its weight in his free hand.    
  
“Help me,” Alec murmurs softly, the sound catching Magnus off guard. Something crashes in his heart, it’s beats quickening. How many times has he said those very words himself? Crying out in Indonesian while his mother and step father lie bloodied and lifeless around him, pleading a man with liquid gold eyes that resembled his own, through broken sobs on the edge of a bridge with a pool of dark waiting below. How many times was he left with no answer, mind reeling because he was _alone, alone, alone._   
  
And now Magnus had this hopeful new revelation before him, promising and secure and everything he’s wanted for years, everything he’s closed himself off from, and he’s asking him for help. Magnus wanted to give it all to him. He leaned forward, letting his forehead rest against Alec’s, basking in him as he clung to Alec’s hand.    
  
“Let me.”

**Author's Note:**

> This was actually really calming to write
> 
> If it feels slightly off its cause i wrote little bits here and there throughout the week. It took so long to do cause school work was biting me in the ass while my cat puked on my bed repeatedly 
> 
> I’m on easter break now and completely terrified of 3x18 so :)  
> let’s go lesbians !
> 
> thank you all for your support, you can send more prompts over to me on tumblr (@nomorewideeyes) lyall <3


End file.
